The blog for blended families
A blamily is a blended family
“I found drugs in my stepdaughter's room and I don't know what to do.”
By Jenna D.
When I first married my husband, I knew that becoming a stepmother would come with its challenges. I was prepared to navigate the complexities of blending our families, to foster a loving environment, and to support my stepdaughter as she adjusted to this new dynamic.
However, nothing could have prepared me for the moment I found drugs hidden in her room. My heart sank, and a wave of anxiety washed over me. I felt lost, unsure of how to approach this delicate situation.
What happens when you’re thrown together, not grown together?
By Amanda F.
It’s a pretty daunting thought, right? Just because your mother or father falls in love with someone else, now you have to not only get on with them, but you have to get on with all the other people they bring with them. Do the math. The odds of getting on with one new person are slim enough. But what about two, or three, or four …?
”I hated my step-sister at first. Now I’m giving her a kidney.”
By Ella W.
OK. Maybe ‘hated’ is too strong a word. Loathed? Detested? Despised? No, I think ‘hated’ covers it.
When my dad and her mum, Tina* got together, of course they wanted us to meet. “You two will just LOVE each other”, they said. They literally had no idea.
The weird thing was that we sort of knew each other already. We grew up in kind of the same area - we went to different schools, but there was a bit of crossover between the two. I didn't know her well, but what I did know, I didn’t like.
All I wanted was for my kids and him to love each other. Now I think I’m jealous of all of them.
By Lynda P.
From the moment I became a mother, my world expanded in ways I never anticipated. My priorities shifted, and the happiness of my children became my main focus. I envisioned a harmonious family life, where my kids and the man I love could share laughter, support, and an unbreakable bond. All I wanted was for my kids and him to love each other. Yet, as time has passed, I find myself grappling with an unexpected feeling: jealousy.
She looked me in the face and told me “I’ll make my dad dump you no matter what.”
By Maddy P.
I couldn’t believe what I heard.
And when it finally did register that that was what she said, I was sure that she was joking.
But, oh, she was not. Here’s the crazy part. Right up until that moment I was positive that Emma* not only accepted me as Pete’s* partner, but she actually LIKED me.
She was all “Maddy, hey!!! What’s up gurl?”, every time I arrived at their place. And she always wanted to sit next to me at the table, and talk about boys in her room, and swap eyeliners and lip glosses.
If you’re going to blend, you may have to bend.
The key to any happy, healthy and harmonious family (blended or not)is compromise. Sometimes you give, and sometimes you take. But it only works if the giving and the taking are shared around.
“They fought like cat and dog. So we bought them a cat. And a dog.”
By James R.
When my son, Lachie* and I moved in with my new partner and her son, Bailey*, the two boys would argue over anything.
Bikes, video games, TV shows, food - you name it.
It was almost as if they didn't want to find anything in common because then they wouldn't have anything to fight about!
They’re both around the same age - Lachie’s twelve and Bailey’s ten - so you’d think that they would have plenty in common. But no. They were like oil and water.
Blamily Dinners
Had any fabulous blamily dinners lately? Sent us some photos, videos, stories or maybe even your favourite recipe via our Facebook and Instagram pages.
Blamily Vacations
Holidays and vacations are huge fun, but they can sometimes be a test for even the closest and strongest blamily. Tell us all about one of yours via our Facebook or Instagram pages.
“I struggled to get my son out of his shell for years. His step-brother had him thriving overnight.”
By Nicky M.
My Ben* was the ultimate introvert. Getting him to kindergarten and school each day was a struggle for years. His separation anxiety was through the roof.
He always struggled to make friends, not because there was anything wrong with him, or anything not to like about him. He just preferred being at home with his own stuff, doing his own thing.
Our home wasn’t a particularly happy one to grow up in, to be honest. His father and I were having problems before he was born and we stupidly thought that having a child might bring us closer together.
“It was hard enough for me to trust again. But then I had to trust that his kids would accept mine.”
—Jenna S.
